Hallways

There was a hallway
where both of us are
or have been but
never at the same time
but perhaps in passing
once you say towards me
"pack-a-derm"
with no reference
no content
meaning meaning meaning
packa... packa heavy load packa thick
derm skin hide
heavy hide
thick skin
so? Lots of people have a thick skin
so I have thick skin? and most of what I say is grey and heavy
mostly I just want to hide but don't
but you would never know this because
you don't look at the images I leave
on doorways on the walls
in your hands
you drop them and pass them and walk through
because maybe you don't have a thick skin and you don't like when
life is heavy or grey
and although you lie about it, you always hide
always hide

~

The hallway
the hallway
in the hallway
sometimes we touch and never see
spend time in each other to understand past lives
but leave before rejuvenated
you leave me hollow, hollow,
a hollow skin to wear
but how could you?
You know I don't wear animal hides
unlike you who wear them like trophies
like some throw-back indian chief
You are no Warrior, no Leader of Men.
and I could never be anyone's princess, never a Princess Waterlily
maybe I'm not that dynamic
but I am dynamite
and I'm ready to rip through
this retched trap
through the images you don't see
through the doorways that lead down
through all the remnants
I want to obliterate these splinters left of you as part of me
with no place left for me to wait for nothing
I don't want your voice
I don't' want your face
all that longing I pinned on you like honor
a mistake
never fulfilled
but so filling like the hallway clutter of moving day
speaking of which, its time for moving on.

ideas....

i wish i were a raindrop upon your face
then maybe i'd mingle with your tears.
we would both understand.

****

Like a family of tumbleweeds out for a stroll
I was crushed
80 mph
and off sped your indifference.

****

seoul pancakes
soul pancakes

I am Brilliant

I. Seasoned
the elation you feel tracking a flock of birds across the sky
so many seasons a rose does not bloom
how shallow would your joy be
if attached only to such singular occasion

II. Brilliant
I am brilliant in this season.
I am ripe.
My leaves not ruffled, crumpled
I am ready for a plucking, a devouring.
I know my ripeness is a wanting thing,
a state of the moment, nothing more.
such Ripeness fades more shallow than the waning moon.

Some have unseasoned beauty
in that the brilliance and season
are, indeed, mutually exclusive.

III. A Woman
her hair blue and red, sparks of a midnight waterfall
She upholds tradition while
in a jesture watches it crumble
Her laugh- the mirror that gleams the crescent moon
and driping waterfall spray
She walks edges and does not sway
Her eyes glisten softly with fire,
subtle and direct.
with hands that will the mountains to bend at her pleasure.
calm and fierce beauty indeed.



..... there is more to this, but i haven't found it yet...

seasoned

the elation you feel tracking a flock of birds across the sky
so many seasons a rose does not bloom
how shallow would your joy be
if attached only to such singular occasion

Brace Your Self

Brace yourself
heres the bigwowfinish
we've been waiting for:

That moment you
that shred of time
you saved your pennies for
that moement is a memory
and you stand on the corner
like a passenger, express line, left behind

shut your mouth.
Leave it hang open
and you just might swallow reality
three tablespoons too much,
three minutes too soon.

Emptiness

A room of drawers, cupboards and cases
No requiem to mourn
The loss shivering within the empty spaces
A single sheath of dust quivers
By incessant echoes of barren places
Calling clear and yet I dare not open
For fear founded on the basis
Of losing the fragmented wisps-
A fading past that fills the air with faces
Booming by laughter
But now broken and chases
The sound to an empty room
Filled with drawers, cupboards and cases

ballet summer 05

ballet summer 05
Originally uploaded by Jezzri.

Lacey Jenn and I

Jenn Lacey and I, originally uploaded by Jezzri.

this was last year. We were on top of medicine bow peak. it was our second trip up the mountian, no one was injured this time. :-)

Blind

If in God's plan ever I go blind
I beg for such now
for then will I be left
with the image of your greatness
ever burning in my vision
that always I may follow
the power of your gaze

Awake

Today I woke up at 5:45.
It is not a life ambition to have early bird as and epitaph but
there is such a peace in the early morning
I spoke first to the man I love most, most days
Today was challenging
He called me as he gathered his mind and day
As I write this another interest but not love sits 10 feet away
I wonder if the interest serves to goad my love into action
or provides me with an escape route should I end up broken and empty
my greatest fear, really.
I cannot trust even the simplest statement out of a man's mouth
there is no grudge in my mistrust
acceptance of an agenda skewed from my own
conceding the mostly harmless malice to make the best of it
forgiveness for gender’s sake
for my need to build others up
ever continue a crusade to end my personal cache of selfishness

This isn't a poem in any sense
Stream of conciseness as Clara may say
and although I plan to publish it on my public blog no one knows about
It is only for me and for now
Tomorrow will change why I mean everything.

Or now will.
I just spied, perchance, an answer to and unasked question.
The interest isn't interested back.
my defeatist attitude proves prudent

Coffee Shop Perception: Revised

A Coffee shop in New York City is different than
a coffee shop in small town here is different than
a coffee shop in San Fran and is different than
tea in bed with a good book or the one you love

I.
Hip. Fresh. Intelligent.
wearing black I sip my mocha latte with smart expressions
glancing now and then at my notebook (pc of course)
I am alone.
Being here is alone.
I want a ring of power and I sit at the threshold of just that.
Dirty city, so smart and cutting edge
blinded or inspired by the fervor of its self.
so busy so not sleeping
And the lights are not lining red carpets but numbers
on large billboards and that is what I am
worth this second and the next it all changes.
One ring to Rule them All.

II.
nothing is perfect and we all know each other.
we know how the sweat on the floor and walls got there.
we know the climax and anti climax of every penny spent to create this
our everyday solace.
everything is put together with duct tape and Elmer's glue.
Quaint.
we create this optical illusion, a window to something larger,
something more of what we want to become.
We are noon day poets ranting of this and that
then scattering off to everyday-working-job
what gets us by in gross incomes
but tacks us in place down sizing aspiration to wisp of dreams.

III.
I am poet an artist a master of frying fish
I see what you are and I capture it with my pen or pan or lips.
everything I see and breathe is beautiful and real.
from the air to the urine in the streets
to the rose dropped and passed on with eccentric airs, "For you, my love!"
I am a beautiful city and what is not I let pass on.
I am an old 45 of Billy Holidy singing sweet and low.
I am a strain of words set against smoke and sweet and low
dumped into black black coffee or tea.


IX.
Crisp clean bed sheets and book
steaming tea smells of green spring and anguish, long and sleepless
You are in my heart if not here. Along you go with,
to wondrous places of great renown and jumbled perfection.
you in your absence lift up my gaze to starlight
I know your face holds the same, an epic tragedy I've not yet seen.
You are every memory of tea bags and books
the smells rushing forward to what I seek in so many places
and never seem to know.

Take this, a truth or a story
For every coffee shop is a story a truth
amble down the cobbled stone to your Highest road.
this, naked and true, but not perfect or complete or wise
Yet.

I’ve not measured my life with coffee spoons
nor have I seen the northern lights gleam in a moose's eye.
I have times ahead, dispensations of great joy
This city sleeps drenched in honey but I move on for what is next.
for that which is unknown

I don't really have anything to post. Just stopped by to say hi. If i had a home computer this would be so much more interacted upon- if that makes sense.