ballet summer 05

ballet summer 05
Originally uploaded by Jezzri.

Lacey Jenn and I

Jenn Lacey and I, originally uploaded by Jezzri.

this was last year. We were on top of medicine bow peak. it was our second trip up the mountian, no one was injured this time. :-)

Blind

If in God's plan ever I go blind
I beg for such now
for then will I be left
with the image of your greatness
ever burning in my vision
that always I may follow
the power of your gaze

Awake

Today I woke up at 5:45.
It is not a life ambition to have early bird as and epitaph but
there is such a peace in the early morning
I spoke first to the man I love most, most days
Today was challenging
He called me as he gathered his mind and day
As I write this another interest but not love sits 10 feet away
I wonder if the interest serves to goad my love into action
or provides me with an escape route should I end up broken and empty
my greatest fear, really.
I cannot trust even the simplest statement out of a man's mouth
there is no grudge in my mistrust
acceptance of an agenda skewed from my own
conceding the mostly harmless malice to make the best of it
forgiveness for gender’s sake
for my need to build others up
ever continue a crusade to end my personal cache of selfishness

This isn't a poem in any sense
Stream of conciseness as Clara may say
and although I plan to publish it on my public blog no one knows about
It is only for me and for now
Tomorrow will change why I mean everything.

Or now will.
I just spied, perchance, an answer to and unasked question.
The interest isn't interested back.
my defeatist attitude proves prudent